We have all had it happen. You look at picture after picture, you finally pick one, you work up the nerve, and off you go to see your hair stylist. Your excited for your new hairstyle and when it’s all done, you freak out and wonder what in the world have you done.
It looks nothing like the picture and…You. Hate. It.
There is nothing wrong with the cut, technical wise. It’s exactly like the picture. So why doesn’t it look like it does on the girl in the picture?
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THIS. JUST. HAPPENED. TO. ME.
I have been a hairstylist for 17 years, so yes, it even happens to those of us that should know better (rolling my eyes and shaking my head in disbelief). I knew going from long hair to super short was going to have a shock factor and take awhile to get used to, no matter how prepared I thought I was.
My reasons for cutting it all off had mainly to do with comfort. Menopause is a horrible, cruel joke (raise your hand if you feel me) and long hair makes hot flashes totally unbearable. When one would hit, it felt like my head was 150 degrees and had steam coming from it. I was also tired of just throwing it up in a messy bun and never wanting to fix it to look nice.
I want to start off by saying that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the cut, it is exactly like the picture and technically correct in every way. So what went wrong?
Reasons Why My New Hairstyle Didn’t Turn Out As Expected
I wanted to look 20 years younger and 40 pounds lighter, isn’t that what we all want? I mean seriously, 17 years ago I had this same haircut and it looked great on me. On my 33 year old, 133 pound self. As the years passed gravity took over and my oval face is now more of a squoval and my skin no longer has that youthful elasticity it once had. It was not a realistic expectation.
My hair is unreasonably thick. The texture is coarse and it has wave that showed up when I became pre-menopausal. Hormones are such a pesky business. The wave prevents me from tucking it behind my ears like I want to and it doesn’t lay as smooth as the hairstyle in the picture. She appears to have thick hair, but her texture is not nearly as coarse as mine.
Her hair is blonde, mine is dark brown. The light plays off her hair much better than it does mine and gives it dimension, making it look lighter and a lot softer than my hair could ever be.
Living With the New Hairstyle
So, it’s done. There is no getting the hair back. Now what?
I texted my stylist (we have known each other for years and are good friends) and she came over to my house and did a little tweaking to the cut to customize it to my head (and more to my liking).
- Don’t be afraid to call your stylist and ask that the same be done for you (although you will most likely have to go back into the salon unless she is one of your BFF’s). It is your hair and you need to be able to work with it and be able to love it.
I have been experimenting with different ways of styling it. The first few days I tried to force it to part a certain way, tuck behind my ears, and lay flat. I have put so much product in it I am surprised it comes out when I shampoo it. When I blow dried it, it got HUGE. So I am letting it air dry. Today I let it have it’s way and lay how it wanted to. It wasn’t bad and I actually was told it looked cute. It was certainly less stressful and I wasn’t constantly running my fingers through it, trying to force it to behave.
- Look for more pictures of your haircut styled different ways and try them out until you find one or two or more that you like.
- Try blow drying if you usually don’t. Let it air dry if you usually blow dry.
- Try different types of styling products (ask your stylist for recommendations of what to use) or just let it have it’s way and do what it wants to do.
I am doing my best not to continually look in the mirror. I am still in shock over the new look and it will have to grow on me. I have no doubt that it will, but until then I can’t let myself obsess over it. I have to stop thinking about what it used to look like. The hair is gone and it would take at least 2 years for it to grow back out to the length that it was.
- Take a few days and morn what used to be and come to terms with what has happened. Then, put on your big girl panties and make the best of it. After all, it is only hair and it will grow back.
- Accept compliments on your new hairstyle. Put on a pair of funky socks (a friend of mine suggested this and it made me laugh when I wanted to cry), and go confidently out into the world and rock that new hairstyle!
Has this ever happened to you? What did you do? Come on, spill the beans in the comments below!!
Until next time,